Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Writers: How to Drive Yourself Crazy in 4 Simple Steps

We all need a little crazy sometimes, right? Well fear not. I've compiled a list of easy to follow instructions that will get you well on your way to that mini meltdown. Let's get started!

1. Set an unrealistic deadline - Why give yourself enough time to finish that project? Take that deadline and cut it in half right now! Five chapters this week? Make it ten! After all, how do you think those "overnight" success stories happened anyway? With a big cup of coffee and an all night writing session, that's how!

2. Put pressure on yourself - The more, the better! Focus on that unrealistic deadline and squeeze your creative juices dry trying to accommodate it. Let the stress flow through you, my friend.

3. Compare yourself to others - Why are there so many writers out there making great money while you're still stuck on revising your first novel? Wonder to yourself why other writers tweets are so much wittier than yours. Why not just change yourself, so you sound more like them!

4. Doubt yourself - If someone says your writing sucks, believe them. After all, they know exactly what they're talking about. Aunt Sue may be in pediatrics, but she reads a lot. Take every review and every criticism word for word and let them sink in until you inevitably figure out that writing's just not for you. Hey, we're not all cut from the cloth!

So remember...

Keep that chin down & stay cynical - The world is telling you that books are dead, people don't read and the success rate for writers is abysmal. So why even try? Just give up, already. Save yourself a lot of heartache and more importantly, a lot of work. Lie back, sip a mojito and enjoy your newfound time.

Oh, so you're not looking to drive yourself crazy? Well this is awkward...Alright, just do the opposite of everything I just said.